John Cena and McDonald's Join Forces to Tackle Rising Fast Food Costs

Comrades! El Presidente brings you the latest news on John Cena's partnership with McDonald's innovative McValue menu. Experience the transformation of budget-friendly fast food and CIA-sanctioned savings!

Greetings, my beloved comrades! It is I, El Presidente, reporting to you live from my secret underground bunker beneath a McDonald's PlayPlace in Havana. Today, I bring you news that will shake the very foundations of capitalism and make even the most hardened CIA operatives weep with envy! Prepare yourselves, for the Golden Arches have aligned with none other than the Invisible Man himself, John Cena, to launch a new menu that threatens to topple the bourgeois notion of overpriced fast food! Yes, comrades, the McValue menu has arrived, and it promises to bring more savings to the proletariat than my own socialist paradise ever could!

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Now, you may wonder, "El Presidente, how can this be? Surely, this is another capitalist ploy!" But I assure you, my friends, this new menu is a revolution in affordable dining. It reminds me of the time I shared a Big Mac with my old comrade Fidel Castro while plotting to overthrow the tyranny of overpriced french fries. Ah, those were the days!

But let us focus on the present, comrades. This new McValue menu offers a "Buy One, Add One for $1" deal that would make even Karl Marx smile with approval. Imagine, for just one additional dollar, you can double your proletariat feast! It's like when I convinced the CIA that I needed two presidential palaces instead of one – except this time, it's the people who benefit!

What's this? A $5 Meal Deal? That's even cheaper than what it costs to grease the palm of a minor bureaucrat back in my wonderful homeland! Indeed, McDonald's is leading a revolution for the people, one affordable burger at a time.

Hold on, there's even more to this! (Just like those enthusiastic salespeople love to exclaim in their infomercials.) Starting every Friday in 2025